"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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