Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
