the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
