I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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