Duck Duck Cougar?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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