Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
