Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He passed out mid-signature
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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