I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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