just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
