i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
