So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
