carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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