and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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