it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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