Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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