i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
