oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Boobs speak an international language.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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