Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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