If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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