Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
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today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
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I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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