mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
