how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
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Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
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Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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