I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
