blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
