I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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