Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize