I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
i out mim tonsoeep
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