honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
