I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize