also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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