you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
