I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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