Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
