By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
