just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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