Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He did a backflip because drugs
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
