I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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