Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
we're so committed to being not committed
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
