I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
