atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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