Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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