While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize