Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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