Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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