Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
