You smell like stripper and shame
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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