Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
