If i come over, it means nothing
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
