what if every blade of grass was a penis?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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