Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
