a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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