It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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