Well apparently he's into motor boating.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
