...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Randomize
