As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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