Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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