I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
