Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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