You can't special order awesome
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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