I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
