i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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