can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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