Texts From Last Night

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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.

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  (864): you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack. http://tfl.nu/rq5j
  Replies (40) Good night (557) Bad night (4683)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool

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  (920): Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool http://tfl.nu/i9nx
  Replies (10) Good night (795) Bad night (2061)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of

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  (850): ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of http://tfl.nu/f0gq
  Replies (5) Good night (566) Bad night (2498)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez

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  (719): One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez http://tfl.nu/v3fs
  Replies (6) Good night (2350) Bad night (975)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again

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  (720): he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again http://tfl.nu/4hwy
  Replies (16) Good night (772) Bad night (7844)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave

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  (781): I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave http://tfl.nu/vjg2
  Replies (33) Good night (10088) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.

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  (617): these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean. http://tfl.nu/z2n6
  Replies (13) Good night (2230) Bad night (1356)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?

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  (440): Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating? http://tfl.nu/ubob
  Replies (6) Good night (1504) Bad night (1020)
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  (818): View more from California

  I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing

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  (818): I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing http://tfl.nu/hijc
  Replies (6) Good night (955) Bad night (375)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore

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  (+44): She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore http://tfl.nu/r3jp
  Replies (9) Good night (982) Bad night (442)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....

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  (513): I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know..... http://tfl.nu/0xlu
  Replies (14) Good night (2251) Bad night (542)
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  (914): View more from New York

  If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.

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  (914): If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick. http://tfl.nu/06qn
  Replies (6) Good night (1353) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  Oh my god.

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  The ballsiest level.

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  (601): So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore. (1-601): Oh my god. (1-601): The ballsiest level. http://tfl.nu/5u5w
  Replies (1) Good night (642) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?

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  (903): I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex? http://tfl.nu/k82d
  Replies (5) Good night (554) Bad night (199)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  YOU DID WHAT???

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  (617): Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college. (1-617): YOU DID WHAT??? http://tfl.nu/p7q7
  Replies (5) Good night (703) Bad night (379)

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