Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.

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  (619): Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage. http://tfl.nu/jxfh
  Replies (13) Good night (1145) Bad night (875)
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  (310): View more from California

  I think I won the penis lottery.

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  (310): I think I won the penis lottery. http://tfl.nu/0aks
  Replies (33) Good night (5711) Bad night (707)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college

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  (401): im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college http://tfl.nu/hik3
  Replies (48) Good night (2273) Bad night (4146)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.

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  (262): Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile. http://tfl.nu/y44t
  Replies (27) Good night (869) Bad night (7196)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.

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  (815): grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese. http://tfl.nu/k9i9
  Replies (21) Good night (4401) Bad night (1456)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman

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  (703): he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman http://tfl.nu/zmqz
  Replies (22) Good night (4391) Bad night (2415)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.

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  (720): and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook. http://tfl.nu/6m40
  Replies (21) Good night (1263) Bad night (4985)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.

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  (636): I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle. http://tfl.nu/niba
  Replies (6) Good night (2377) Bad night (920)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.

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  (617): I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent. http://tfl.nu/742m
  Replies (10) Good night (1513) Bad night (2377)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".

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  (386): Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant". http://tfl.nu/zn3b
  Replies (21) Good night (2524) Bad night (2170)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.

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  (585): I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again. http://tfl.nu/lp5f
  Replies (6) Good night (1805) Bad night (638)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.

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  (901): We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults. http://tfl.nu/zv4y
  Replies (5) Good night (1025) Bad night (723)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity

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  (414): Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity http://tfl.nu/984f
  Replies (4) Good night (521) Bad night (414)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  Priorities

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  (203): We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades (1-203): Priorities http://tfl.nu/v803
  Replies (1) Good night (832) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?

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  (412): he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question? http://tfl.nu/r5st
  Replies (4) Good night (772) Bad night (487)

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