If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I am midnight drunk by noon
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
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