it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...