Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  parking. I am not drunk

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  (847): I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot. (847): parking. I am not drunk http://tfl.nu/zit9
  Replies (9) Good night (1137) Bad night (681)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.

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  (512): the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like. http://tfl.nu/1vno
  Replies (18) Good night (2121) Bad night (848)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one

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  (703): im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one http://tfl.nu/hfte
  Replies (53) Good night (7673) Bad night (1366)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?

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  (270): Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance? http://tfl.nu/nz1e
  Replies (8) Good night (5468) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it

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  (310): I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it http://tfl.nu/jugc
  Replies (8) Good night (1332) Bad night (3763)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once

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  (850): i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once http://tfl.nu/6uuj
  Replies (3) Good night (5226) Bad night (1033)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.

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  (865): just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke. http://tfl.nu/o9qp
  Replies (5) Good night (4731) Bad night (1029)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?

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  (919): are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet? http://tfl.nu/54if
  Replies (14) Good night (4355) Bad night (1287)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.

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  (913): did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box. http://tfl.nu/h01u
  Replies (10) Good night (3405) Bad night (1764)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.

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  (586): I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup. http://tfl.nu/qqt4
  Replies (4) Good night (1324) Bad night (1185)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Why didn't I see you last night!?

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.

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  (203): Why didn't I see you last night!? (1-203): We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you. http://tfl.nu/iqgq
  Replies (6) Good night (5347) Bad night (837)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?

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  (613): Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you? http://tfl.nu/o3d1
  Replies (4) Good night (1785) Bad night (585)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?

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  (808): I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough? http://tfl.nu/nifs
  Replies (21) Good night (1483) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.

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  (904): Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am. http://tfl.nu/pjgw
  Replies (3) Good night (729) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate

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  (610): our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate http://tfl.nu/08mc
  Replies (2) Good night (567) Bad night (356)

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