i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man