Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
I'm going back tonight
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.