If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I am midnight drunk by noon
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Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
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Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything