On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot