one two three fourrrrnication!
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
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both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
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did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...