Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
