it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You brought string cheese to the strip club
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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