I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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