well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
