walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
