What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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