sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
