You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
