You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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